Tips on dating a widower
"Recovering from the death of your partner is near impossible.There's no real closure, especially if the death was sudden.
If you are open about yourself and your feelings, it will show your new partner that you are taking the relationship seriously – which is a big deal for them if you are the first person they've been with since the death of their spouse."Opening yourself up to the person you are considering dating will let them know that you are emotionally mature and that you can face the occasional pain that their memories can cause and show them that you may require emotional support as well.
This can help a widow or a widower gently move out of the 'victim' state of mind." This will put you both on a more equal footing.
If everything is out on the table, then you'll be in a better situation to move on.
Whilst openness does not necessarily mean a 'clean slate' (they will not and should not have to forget their last partner), it will allow you to begin a 'new chapter'.
Try to put yourself in their place."It may be that you notice that your new partner does certain things in the same way their late spouse did, even if they don't like or realise they are doing it.
While this might be tough for you to get used to, just think about how much worse it is for them, and appreciate that the best way to help them is to be supportive.If you want this relationship to work, then you're going to have to be understanding of their situation and what they are going through."Unlike in other relationships, your date's late partner remains very much a part of their lives.You shouldn't be intimidated by it, simply accept and understand it.Both of you need to sit down with the children (only once you decide to get serious) and explain that you are not a substitute for the deceased parent, yet given that you are now willing to share their care.It is important not to put any pressure on them, but simply explain 'I am here.A study conducted in 1996 found that, by 25 months after a spouse's death, 61% of widowers (men) were either remarried or in a new romance compared to just 19% of widows (women), but this is by no means a case of 'one size fits all'.