"We are by nature, more prone to self-injury and self-blame when we are confused by our world," she says."So as a first measure, we need supports that will immediately bring us help that keeps us from hating and hurting ourselves." And she adds that women on the spectrum could use help when they have kids of their own.

dating autistic girl-21

Girls, she says, might get into reading or animals, which seem normal, "so people don't pick up on our social difficulties." Jennifer Mc Ilwee Myers, who has Asperger's and is the author of "How to Teach Life Skills to Kids with Autism or Asperger's," concurs.

She says boys on the spectrum are more likely to respond to their difficulties with anger and aggression, while girls are more likely to "deal with issues quietly," cultivating extreme "niceness" and imitating other girls' behavior.

The easiest way to love someone on the spectrum is by learning to accept them.

Trying to change them will not be possible, even if they do change slightly they will be extremely unhappy on the inside and will be living a life that does not feel natural to them.

Myers says she's met women who have just been diagnosed with Asperger's as adults and now have no idea who they are, because they've spent their whole lives trying to act like other people.

For women like this, "everything they like" is about not making people mad and not being singled out as different — when they're diagnosed as adults, they have to build a whole identity from scratch.

Myers says there are "a lot of invisible girls" who are autistic but never get help, because nobody notices. Willey says that when it comes to dating, women on the spectrum tend to be targets of physical and mental abusers.

"We are the women with date rape stories," she says.

Also bear in mind, you will probably never understand how their brain ticks.

My partner jokingly refers to my brain as being wired upside down.

Myers agrees that women with autism "have a big target on us for guys who are users, because we won't pick up on it and somehow they know that." Even with kind partners, they can have trouble communicating their needs in relationships, and figuring out if their feelings are reciprocated.