As a dating coach, I’ve found the #1 reason you won’t have success with online dating is giving up too soon.

What you perceive as online rejection can exhaust you mentally and the positive attitude you started out with will quickly dwindle.

Just as dogs get only one bite (actually, they don’t get any free bites), your discouraged suitor gets only one “apology” from you. The following line is pretty darn effective but only use it as a last resort:“You need to know that if you attempt to contact me again, I’ll report your activities as an abuse to the dating site.

The site will then begin to monitor all your e-mail messages and kick you off the system if it doesn’t like what you’re writing.” Afterward, break off the communication.

When your goal is to make a clean break from the person who won’t let go (or any prospect, for that matter), never argue or defend yourself.

You have to accept the bad guy or girl role unless you want to create an even angrier person out of your former prospect.

Most often, people don’t let go because they’ve developed fantasies from your photo and essay.

When you start exchanging messages, the fantasies grow.

You have a right to cry in your wine if the guy you’ve been dating for 3 months, who has truly gotten to KNOW you and you him, suddenly stops calling or breaks up with you. But the guy not responding to your “like” or your email on…that’s just part of the process that’s going to lead you to some fun dates and eventually your Mr. Move on without wasting one moment or one bit of energy. A lot of women are emailing the 60 year old man with a great head of hair, healthy, active life and good career. That wouldn’t bother me.” Well, imagine that he went home after Starbucks and there were 25 women waiting for him with open arms. Instead of tapping into the insecure 18 year old who is biting her nails waiting for the phone to ring and wondering what’s wrong with you when it doesn’t, grab the confident, experienced woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it.

Imagine it like this – I asked a client about this yesterday: “You meet a guy in Starbucks and after a very brief chat he takes your card and he never calls. Some even have candy for him and are wearing sexy outfits. I encourage you to use online dating to meet as many men as possible.

I’ve enjoyed chatting with you, but I don’t think we’re a match. Some people flame others by sending e-mails, warning people of a person’s supposed bad character. He is [insert issue here].”) Although you could sue them for defamation, who needs the grief?

The best way to avoid this sort of thing is to kill people with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it.

Take responsibility for managing your feelings, and use this as the powerful tool it is to lead to you love.