In the Fall, a significant part of Satan’s curse attacked our identities as women: “Then he said to the woman, ‘I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth.

And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you’” (Genesis ).

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As most of you read last month, I attended a dating-related event in which one of the panelists stated that “most men are douchebags.” He said this twice: once before the event started, and again to the audience during the event. When people say things like this, sometimes it’s just hyperbole to make a point or to get people to listen.

But more often it reflects the person’s true belief systems.

Now, in my books and coaching, I teach others to do the same thing.

If you teach people that the other sex isn’t trustworthy (and many do), you set them up for failure down the road. If you’re single and looking for someone special, the worst thing you can do is assume most members of the other sex aren’t worthwhile.

Back in grad school, years ago, a fellow grad student (male) had his first kid on the way. We were pretty good friends and he asked me my opinion on how to raise a girl.

I told him, “Make her feel valued.” Many fathers don’t realize that the best inoculation against douchey guys isn’t a shotgun…

Sure, most of them aren’t right for YOU, but that doesn’t make them bad people.

You have to approach dating with a good attitude and see the good in others, while still being prepared when the occasional bad thing happens.

This particular man owns a lot of bars and has likely spent a considerable amount of time in them, watching the kind of behavior that doesn’t make men (or women, for that matter) seem especially admirable. If he teaches her that most men are douchebags, she doesn’t develop a good understanding of men.