’” All of those hobbies and interests you spent time cultivating in your youth? Yes, talking to a man at a party is hard, but talking to a man while you’re doing an activity you feel comfortable doing is easier.

“You have to get away from the emails and texts to an actual meeting,” says Pina. It’s important not to waste months or even years on someone who’s not going to materialize into a commitment.” And once you finally go on that date, what do you talk about?

Don’t worry, the answer to that question is actually really easy: “What you’re passionate about,” says Pina.

“Get out of your routine and get around like-minded people.

It’s important not to be narrow-minded about what kind of social doors you’re opening.” Even if you go to a social function and think nobody there is a good match, Pina suggests keeping an open mind: “Even if that right person isn’t in the group, you never know who you’ll meet who can introduce you to someone else. Everybody wants to be the person to say, ‘I introduced you to your husband!

“You have to make a good effort to expand your social circles,” she says.

If you’re shy, that can be difficult, but try to push yourself when an opportunity like a friend-of-a-friend’s dinner party arises.You’d be surprised how many people who are dating unsuccessfully don’t know the answer to those basic personal questions.Pina suggests developing your personal interests and spiritual life before pursuing a mate.“Search for people who meet your criteria and really read their emails.” But here’s the mistake a lot of women, shy or not, make on dating sites: don’t leave all the grunt work to the gentlemen. It might make you nervous, but think how much easier it is to write a message than to walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation.“Send an email to people who appeal to you,” says Pina. If you don’t reach out to people, it’s almost as bad as staying at home and doing nothing.” Afraid you’ll appear too forward by kickstarting a conversation?And, as Pina points out, “Eventually, you’re going to marry someone you’re dating.” Don’t get into what she calls “panic mode” by dating the wrong people over and over and then marrying whomever you’re dating when you’re ready to have children.