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I also hear from a lot of women who dove in, fingers crossed, and then the guy walked away.No one can eliminate all risk from dating, nor do I believe that would be desirable.(Naturally, avoiding #3 is her highest priority.)How can you tell a guy that you don’t want to have casual sex with him, but you might like relationship sex with him?
But who wants to be nothing more than a sexual conquest?
Most of the young couples I know began having sex together before they were officially dating, often without explicitly discussing their hopes and expectations.
The best way of doing this is to be vulnerable yourself and describe your own wishes.
In doing so, you invite him to confirm that he feels the same way, or give him an opportunity to express that’s not the case.
Obviously, both parties will only be happy with the outcome if they are on the same page, whether it be 1 or 2. Avoiding Outcomes #3 and #4That’s leaves 30-40% destined for disappointment or heartbreak.
A woman will want to do everything in her power to suss out the guy so she can rule out Outcomes #3 and #4.
My Thanksgiving houseguests arrive tonight, but I wanted to eke out one post this week.
I wish you a wonderful Happy Thanksgiving with family and friends.
Anthropologist Helen Fisher says sex is never casual:“Any kind of sexual stimulation of the genitals triggers the dopamine system in the brain and can push you over that threshold into falling in love with that person.
And in fact, with orgasm, there’s a real flood of oxytocin and vasopressin, other chemicals in the brain associated with the feeling of deep attachment. We’ve evolved to attach during sex, so it’s in our best interest to figure out beforehand if getting more attached is a good idea.
When two people begin dating there are four potential relationship outcomes: Outcome #1Helen Fisher found in a study of 515 people who went into a casual hookup that 50% of the women and 52% of the men hoped to trigger a longer relationship.