I wanted to confirm what I suspected—that it was a family outing and the boy was allowed to join them. She assured me that she and her also-twelve-year-old boyfriend were driven to the mall and dropped off, where they had dinner in the food court, wandered around for an hour, and then went to a movie. My intention has always been to do as my parents did and not let my kids date until they were sixteen—hoping they'd choose to wait even longer.

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ul.website_links, #posts_module ul #posts_module ul #page_container, .page_container .page_sub_body div#playlist_container div.player_controls div#global_player div.player_controls span.playlist_play_button, span.playlist_pause_button a.track_name span.track_options .page_column_narrow .page_column_narrow .player_wrapper .block_ad_container .module_header, .page_header .module.page_wrapper ul .no_content #friends_module p.nodisp #friends_module ul li div.result_item .page_column_narrow .module_wrapper ul li .header_cap_right a div.player_controls div.page_sub_body h3 #comment_module h3.module_header .playlist_container .list_options .page_container .block_ad_container .listener_profile .page_column_narrow div.track_meta_list, .listener_profile .page_column_narrow div.track_meta_list p .listener_profile .meta_mini_image .listener_profile .meta_mini .listener_profile .prev_next_link_container img .listener_profile .listener_profile .page_header .listener_profile .page_column_wide .horizontal_list.vertical_format li.album .listener_profile .module_header .listener_profile .page_column_narrow .border_light #listener_profile_posts_index #posts_module ul #listener_profile_posts_index h4 .listener_profile .listener #body_inner h4 #comment_module ul .horizontal_list.vertical_format li.photo .image_container .detail_label .detail_label:hover /****Button Color****/ span.playlist_play_button, span.playlist_pause_button, a.options_button, .button_expand.colored a, .button_expand.colored a span, .small_button.colored a, .small_button.colored a span, .button_expand.colored a:hover, .button_expand.colored a:hover span, .small_button.colored a:hover, .small_button.colored a:hover span, .event_row span.event_cal_month, #poster_refresh:hover, a.track_like:hover, .playlist_item .track_options a.track_like.selected, .playlist_item .track_options a.track_like.selected:hover, .detail_previous_next a:hover, .promonote_speech, .promonote_speech_arrow, .album_highlight a:hover, a.j Scroll Arrow Up, a.j Scroll Arrow Down, a.j Scroll Arrow Up:hover, a.j Scroll Arrow Down:hover, .view_more:hover, .player_volume .volume_meter, .playlist_item:hover .track_options_menu_button, .playlist_item:hover .track_options_menu_button:hover, .button_player .play_button, .button_player .pause_button, .detail_label:hover, a.play_launch, a.share_playlist_button, img.online_now_icon, a.track_remove:hover /****Button Color****/ a.image_container:hover img, div.played_progress, .view_more:hover, a.share_playlist_button /****Text Link Color****/ a, a:hover, .profile_nav ul li.profile_nav_selected a, #profile_nav ul li.profile_nav_selected a:hover, #poster_like:hover, #announcement_module a /****These Styles Reset the Blue****/ .pvblue div.

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Well, I'd start right here with my advice: I am urging you, parents, allow no complete privacy.

I'm not suggesting that you need to sit between your teen and his date at the movie theater, but there should never be a moment when they are alone without an adult in the house. It's far better to create an environment of power and self-control, where they have you to rely on, rather than to leave them to their own devices. As in many/most households, the subject of dating will come up at some point—hopefully later rather than sooner.

You see, I didn't realize how common it was for parents to actually allow and even encourage pre-teens to go out on single dates without any supervision, or even be in the home alone with no chaperone.