But I’d made a pledge to my husband that I wouldn’t get involved with any of my lovers. But, by the end of the 12-month project, moving back home full time proved more difficult than I had thought.

After you open up a marriage and experience a whole range of sexual variety and aspects of yourself you’ve never had before, it’s hard to put everything back in the box. I slept with a total of 12 people (including two women) during the Wild Oats Project. The person I was at 44 was so much different than the woman I’d been when I was last single at 26. Meanwhile, it turned out that, for around six months, Scott had been exclusively sleeping with one woman, a lot younger than me.

A sort of “sex-friendly” yoga retreat, it taught me something called orgasmic meditation, which is centered on the woman.

Hubby meeting black bull for a good fuck-29Hubby meeting black bull for a good fuck-34

We had intercourse twice and, after he left, I felt satiated.

Around the same time, I took workshops at One Taste, a sexual-education center, which has branches in New York and San Francisco, where I lived at the time.

I was an Italian, meat-eating, busy magazine editor. I became infatuated with him, but the sex soon fizzled.

And then there was Alden, a writer, in his late 30s, who answered my post.

It was a case of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” My first step was placing an ad on nerve.com, a kind of intellectual version of Craigslist’s Casual Encounters.

Under the heading: “Good girl seeks experience,” it read: “I’m a 44-year-old professional, educated, attractive woman in an open marriage, seeking single men age 35-50 to help me explore my sexuality.“So your ad said only three dates,” he said, as we ate dinner in a crowded restaurant. Without missing a beat, he reached over and lightly took my fingertips in his.“Do you think we’ll be able to do that, to limit it? It was the perfect balance, living on my own during the week and then returning home.” I loved our conversation, the fact he was a writer, the books he read. We knew we were both sleeping with other people, but we kept to the rules and never spoke about it.Things in the bedroom were mind-blowing and, before I knew it, I was hooked. I had lots of “firsts,” including being intimate with women. They were about growing up, making mistakes, learning to live without so much fear, owning up to my dark side and, eventually, finding out the difference between being a “good girl” and a good person. We had sex as always and the open marriage spiced things up — at least at first.That bothered me, especially as they hadn’t been using condoms. After reconnecting with Alden and falling deeply in love with him, there was no going back.