Similarly, my boyfriend claims that he was emotionally handicapped by a nasty breakup—and thus incapable of recognizing our chemistry readily—when we first met.

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When Rory’s crush told her he wasn’t “in the right place to date,” she decided to become his biggest supporter rather than delete him from her consciousness.

Without pressing for more, she helped him fill out law school applications and doled out thoughtful advice as he dealt with his parents’ divorce.

I couldn’t explain why I didn’t want to date him, but I really, really did not.

Soon after we met, he asked me out, and the optimistic side of my brain — the side that believes in hope and rainbows and fostering meaningful human connections — made me say yes.

“I was invisible to him for years before he asked me out,” says Bridget.

Eventually, the two started dating, but during their early days together Bridget’s feelings progressed at a “frighteningly faster pace” than her partner’s.It might just be that one person has some stuff to sort out before.Take Bridget Grossman, a 36-year-old financial executive who fell for her current husband as soon as they were designated beer pong teammates in college.That’s when I admit that I wanted—nay, needed—my boyfriend the minute I saw him walk through the door at a mutual friend’s dinner party in 2007.For whatever biological or psychological reason, I explain, his swagger, over-confident smile and white blazer won me over immediately. “We’re not dating,” he’d reassure me, as he proceeded to plan the dateliest dates I have ever been on.