"As professional opportunities start to arise, you'll have to make decisions.

dating after 30-33

A heavy dose of soul-searching, and then pushing past roadblocks that threaten your success.

"You have to put in the time, effort and energy—even when you feel like throwing in the towel or avoiding it altogether," says Steinberg.

So while you should keep those sky-high goals close to your heart, you also have to hold yourself accountable for not missing out on something else you really want—like marriage and kids.

"You have to decide how much time you can give to each of your priorities, and how much of you want to give to each priority," says Carpenter.

But one told her something completely different – that mindset and self love was bullshit….

In your 20s, you dated around, kissed a few frogs, partied with your girls, survived school and got a firm grip on your career (finally! The twenty-something decade is full of exploration and change—but then, you blow out 30 candles and something feels decidedly different."There's this really unique thing that happens in your thirties," says psychologist Kristen Carpenter, Ph D, Director of Women's Behavioral Health at Ohio State's Wexner Medical Center.

But you've probably been there and done that with the bar and going-out scene, and might not have many opportunities in your current job—where you spend the majority of your waking hours.

That means your best bet is to maximize the most highly-datable options in the least amount of time, says Steinberg.

"Those relationships, in fact, can teach you a lot."Now that you (hopefully) know a red flag when you see it, don't let that knowledge bank of toxic partners go to waste.

If you're looking for marriage or biological babies, says Steinberg, your job is to recognize these zero-potential guys early and often.

Hold on to your phones or computer mouses because you're about to get a little tough love.