new dating site in sweden - 1st year sobriety and problems dating
Many have a hard time accepting that a hiatus from intimate relationships is necessary.
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As long as I'm not using and we're not using and are in a program, I'm safe. Getting into an intimate relationship prematurely is, as my mother would say, "Ill-conceived, ill-advised and ill-consummated." Odds are more than fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce for the general population.
Want to venture a guess as to the odds for those in early recovery who test this cardinal rule Despite one's best laid plans or intentions to not re-enact the same dysfunction and failures of previous relationships, the odds are overwhelmingly against the relationship -- doomed to be dysfunctional or have a shortened life expectancy.
If the necessary amount of time to grow the relationship with oneself hasn't lapsed, chances are the recovering addict will do what they've been accustomed to do all of their lives; that is to look outside of oneself for relief or to make up for what is missing emotionally.
When unmet emotional needs begin to get played out in the relationship, the relationship can become an addictive or dysfunctional one, which further perpetuates the cycle of addiction.
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Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but assuming that we would not want our emotional and mental well-being to hinge on a miracle, is it worth the risk?